I had a really rough start to this year. My father became very ill and died quite suddenly in January. February and the first half of March were spent trying to tie up the loss ends of his life. Not an easy task when he had his own business. With the help of my wonderful husband, my brothers, sister-in-laws and some awesome friends of my father, we were able to get it all taken care of.

In the midst of all of that it comes to light that my teenage daughter has had a total melt-down. She had started doing drugs, drinking, having sex and failing her classes in school. To top it off, my ex-husband was called to active duty with the Army Reserves. Thankfully he didn’t get sent out of country, only to NJ for the next 1-2 years. My teenage son decided that he wanted to go with him.

Just as things seem to be settling down toward the end of March, B ended up in the hospital with gallstones. He had is gallbladder removed. 10 days later he aspirated some food into his lungs and ended up back in the hospital. Thankfully he was ok after each of these things. I honestly held my breath in April waiting for something bad to happen. May was a little easier to be optimistic and June has been good.

All of this has made me wonder why is my ability to handle EVERYTHING being put to the test so much this year? Did I do something to make God think he needed to test me a BUNCH this year? Yes I know, God doesn’t put anything in front of you that you can’t overcome somehow. And that you should learn from each of these tests.

Of course I have learned some really important things. While my brothers and I might not have had the best relationship with my father, he had some truly wonderful friendships and touched a lot of people in a very positive way. My brothers are both wonderful guys who will do whatever is needed to help out. Their wives are great also.

My husband of only a few months is THE BEST MAN EVER. I knew I loved him when I married him. I knew he loved me also. I didn’t realize the depth of that love for him or him for me. It is amazing and wonderful.

I have also come to know that even when you do everything right with a kid, they will make up their own minds. You can put them in a bubble and keep the world out. You can teach them right from wrong, and they might still choose wrong. And it’s all ok. I am not a bad parent because of her choices. I have given her the right tools, she needs to use them. And she seems to be doing just that. No more drinking, drugs or sex. The grades are slowly getting better.

I think the biggest thing that I have learned is that what I thought was the end of my rope, that point when I wouldn’t be able to take anymore, isn’t where I thought it was. I hope that I don’t find the end of my rope.