Mr. Wonderful and I are both thinking about going back to school and making career changes. For me, it would be a major change. For Mr. Wonderful, it’s a change, but not a life changing one. We have realized that we are in a rut with our lives. We are happy together and happy with the kids, but neither one of us are happy with our careers. He has been doing his for almost 20 years. He is at the top of his field, and doesn’t want to move into management. There also isn’t any kind of retirement plan, other then a crappy 401k. Plus what he does is very taxing on a person, physically as well as mentally. He has been talking about a change for a long time, and has finally decided to do it.
It just so happens that I have been thinking about making a change for quite some time. I have the schooling and the experience, but am not making the money that I want to. Being in HR, I see what everyone else is making in their various positions. The medical field is the way to go. I wanted to be a nurse while I was in high school. I got married instead of going to college right away (stupid I know) and when I did go back to school I started out with all of my prerequisites for nursing school. Life happened and I ended up back in Utah. I went to back to school once again, and got my degree in Business Management.
I know realized that I should have finished my nursing degree. I love to help people, and I really don’t enjoy sitting behind a desk. So I am going back to school, for respiratory therapy actually. I should be finished in little over a year. I will be able to start a new job making 1/3rd more then I do now. And RTs’ are in high demand all over the U.S., especially California, which is where we want to end up as soon as the youngest munchkin is grown.
The funny thing is that Mr. Wonderful has been thinking about the same career change. Just another reason that we are meant to be together (ok I know that sounds gushy, but that’s how I feel.)
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Monday, July 28, 2008
Meeting Mr. Wonderful
Mr. Wonderful and I have only been married 8 months. We met a little over two years ago (May 26th 2006 to be exact). I had recently discovered Myspace and had reconnected with quite a few old friends. I was looking at different profiles and came across Mr. Wonderful’s. He had a picture of this awesome tattoo. I love tattoos on men and women. I wrote him a quick note saying that I love the tattoo. He wrote back saying that he didn’t actually have the tat yet, but was getting it shortly and that he thought I was “sorta” cute.
That’s how we started. We chatted back and for the long Memorial Day weekend. We agreed to meet for coffee one afternoon the following week. I honestly didn’t think that anything would come of it. He was super nice on the computer, but I wasn’t going into the meeting with any expectations. I had been burned to many times before.
We met at a local coffee shop and sat outside on the little patio. Before either one of us realized it, 3 hours had passed. He was as funny in person as he was on the computer. He was kind and thoughtful. He was a gentleman. To top it off he was really good looking. I knew that I would like the chance to get to know him better.
Lucky for me, he felt the same way. We spent a lot of time talking on the phone, texting and seeing each other when our schedules allowed.
What I didn’t realize when I first met Wonderful was how married he still was. He had been separated for a few months before we met, but hadn’t really discussed divorce to much. His ex was still stringing him along. And to his credit, he didn’t want to hurt his kids. I had assumed that the divorce was imminent. It would actually be a full year before the divorce was final.
That year was hard. Wonderful and I had a few rocky patches. When we had been dating a couple of months, he freaked out and broke up with me. We got back together a week or so later. Right after the first of the year (2007) we broke up again. Once again it only last a week or so. Then in April we had a huge fight and broke up, for what I really thought was forever. I actually think that I was hurting as worse from that break-up then when my first marriage ended. Even though we were “broken up” we stayed in contact with each other at least once a week. I kept catching myself seeing something in the store that I thought he would like.
Just after what would have been our first anniversary, Wonderful asked me if I would be willing to give us another shot. He was missing me as much as I was missing him. His divorce was in the final days of the waiting period, and he wanted to be with me.
I have to say I was a little leery. I loved him more then I had ever loved a man, but there had been a lot of hurt back and forth. I decided to give us one last shot.
I am so glad I did. We got back together and things have been terrific since then. When we first met, we had agreed that we would date at least a year and a half before we would get married. We made it almost to the day.
These 8 months have been trying for both of us. We have gone from both of us having our kids on a part-time basis to having mine full-time and his a little more then half time. We have gone through Oldest Munchkin losing her mind and doing some really bad stuff. We have gone through my father dying and my ex being deployed with the military. We have gone through two hospital stays for Wonderful in a two week period. We are going through all of it and getting along great.
Sending that email was the best thing I had done in years. I am forever grateful that I sent it and that he wrote back.
That’s how we started. We chatted back and for the long Memorial Day weekend. We agreed to meet for coffee one afternoon the following week. I honestly didn’t think that anything would come of it. He was super nice on the computer, but I wasn’t going into the meeting with any expectations. I had been burned to many times before.
We met at a local coffee shop and sat outside on the little patio. Before either one of us realized it, 3 hours had passed. He was as funny in person as he was on the computer. He was kind and thoughtful. He was a gentleman. To top it off he was really good looking. I knew that I would like the chance to get to know him better.
Lucky for me, he felt the same way. We spent a lot of time talking on the phone, texting and seeing each other when our schedules allowed.
What I didn’t realize when I first met Wonderful was how married he still was. He had been separated for a few months before we met, but hadn’t really discussed divorce to much. His ex was still stringing him along. And to his credit, he didn’t want to hurt his kids. I had assumed that the divorce was imminent. It would actually be a full year before the divorce was final.
That year was hard. Wonderful and I had a few rocky patches. When we had been dating a couple of months, he freaked out and broke up with me. We got back together a week or so later. Right after the first of the year (2007) we broke up again. Once again it only last a week or so. Then in April we had a huge fight and broke up, for what I really thought was forever. I actually think that I was hurting as worse from that break-up then when my first marriage ended. Even though we were “broken up” we stayed in contact with each other at least once a week. I kept catching myself seeing something in the store that I thought he would like.
Just after what would have been our first anniversary, Wonderful asked me if I would be willing to give us another shot. He was missing me as much as I was missing him. His divorce was in the final days of the waiting period, and he wanted to be with me.
I have to say I was a little leery. I loved him more then I had ever loved a man, but there had been a lot of hurt back and forth. I decided to give us one last shot.
I am so glad I did. We got back together and things have been terrific since then. When we first met, we had agreed that we would date at least a year and a half before we would get married. We made it almost to the day.
These 8 months have been trying for both of us. We have gone from both of us having our kids on a part-time basis to having mine full-time and his a little more then half time. We have gone through Oldest Munchkin losing her mind and doing some really bad stuff. We have gone through my father dying and my ex being deployed with the military. We have gone through two hospital stays for Wonderful in a two week period. We are going through all of it and getting along great.
Sending that email was the best thing I had done in years. I am forever grateful that I sent it and that he wrote back.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
My job
I recently read a blog by Kris Dunn entitled “The Five Worst Jobs in HR” below is an couple of excerpts
“The real issue is the level of challenge and the perception of your career path once you’ve landed in one of them. The five worst jobs include career killers and work components that would crush the soul of most HR pros. Here’s a primer on the elements common to the five worst jobs in HR to get you in the mood to explore:
· The worst jobs are so niche-oriented your mom can’t explain what you do. I understand a rotation through a specialty is a good thing, but these roles are generally subcategories of a specialty, making it tougher to bounce out to a generalist role when you are ready.
· The worst jobs often involve heavy administrative work. If the work product you can point to at the end of the day is a report or a file, run like crazy. The problem with many of the worst jobs is that once you are done outlining your role for future employers, the person interviewing you envisions you filing papers four hours a day. Not exactly a momentum builder for your future.
· The worst jobs involve tasks that are soul-crushing work for most HR pros. Every job has components you don’t like doing. That’s life, and you’ve experienced it before. Now take the soul crushers in your current job and multiply them by 50. That’s the strategic opportunity many of these jobs provide. “
I won’t bore you with the whole article, as is geared toward an HR geek. But I wanted to share the #1 worst job in HR with you.
“LOA/FMLA administrator: Oh, the humanity. This administrator is a centralized control point for leave of absence and FMLA applications in your enterprise. That means this job sees all the trials and tribulations that employees (and their families) go through. You name it—disease, death, dismemberment— this person sees it. To be sure, there’s good that can come from it, in that an empathetic person in this role can calm employees moving through the leave process.
That’s negated by the reality: This person has to make a call on whether to challenge a suspect application, and that is one of the most confrontational situations you can find in the HR world. As part of this, you also get to question multiple FMLA applications that are 100 percent legit, meaning you’ll be seen as evil. It’s also one of the most administrative positions available. Stay away! “
That’s what I do for the University. 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, 50 weeks a year (thank God for vacations!). Soul-crushing barely begins to describe it.
I try not to get emotionally involved with the employees I am responsible for. It makes it so much harder for me to deal with the bad things that happen. And in this job, it happens a lot. The only soul saving part is when I am actually able to help an employee who has a supervisor from hell, take the time off they need to care for themselves, their kids or their parents.
If I didn’t work with three great women I wouldn’t have made it this long.
“The real issue is the level of challenge and the perception of your career path once you’ve landed in one of them. The five worst jobs include career killers and work components that would crush the soul of most HR pros. Here’s a primer on the elements common to the five worst jobs in HR to get you in the mood to explore:
· The worst jobs are so niche-oriented your mom can’t explain what you do. I understand a rotation through a specialty is a good thing, but these roles are generally subcategories of a specialty, making it tougher to bounce out to a generalist role when you are ready.
· The worst jobs often involve heavy administrative work. If the work product you can point to at the end of the day is a report or a file, run like crazy. The problem with many of the worst jobs is that once you are done outlining your role for future employers, the person interviewing you envisions you filing papers four hours a day. Not exactly a momentum builder for your future.
· The worst jobs involve tasks that are soul-crushing work for most HR pros. Every job has components you don’t like doing. That’s life, and you’ve experienced it before. Now take the soul crushers in your current job and multiply them by 50. That’s the strategic opportunity many of these jobs provide. “
I won’t bore you with the whole article, as is geared toward an HR geek. But I wanted to share the #1 worst job in HR with you.
“LOA/FMLA administrator: Oh, the humanity. This administrator is a centralized control point for leave of absence and FMLA applications in your enterprise. That means this job sees all the trials and tribulations that employees (and their families) go through. You name it—disease, death, dismemberment— this person sees it. To be sure, there’s good that can come from it, in that an empathetic person in this role can calm employees moving through the leave process.
That’s negated by the reality: This person has to make a call on whether to challenge a suspect application, and that is one of the most confrontational situations you can find in the HR world. As part of this, you also get to question multiple FMLA applications that are 100 percent legit, meaning you’ll be seen as evil. It’s also one of the most administrative positions available. Stay away! “
That’s what I do for the University. 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, 50 weeks a year (thank God for vacations!). Soul-crushing barely begins to describe it.
I try not to get emotionally involved with the employees I am responsible for. It makes it so much harder for me to deal with the bad things that happen. And in this job, it happens a lot. The only soul saving part is when I am actually able to help an employee who has a supervisor from hell, take the time off they need to care for themselves, their kids or their parents.
If I didn’t work with three great women I wouldn’t have made it this long.
I had a really rough start to this year. My father became very ill and died quite suddenly in January. February and the first half of March were spent trying to tie up the loss ends of his life. Not an easy task when he had his own business. With the help of my wonderful husband, my brothers, sister-in-laws and some awesome friends of my father, we were able to get it all taken care of.
In the midst of all of that it comes to light that my teenage daughter has had a total melt-down. She had started doing drugs, drinking, having sex and failing her classes in school. To top it off, my ex-husband was called to active duty with the Army Reserves. Thankfully he didn’t get sent out of country, only to NJ for the next 1-2 years. My teenage son decided that he wanted to go with him.
Just as things seem to be settling down toward the end of March, B ended up in the hospital with gallstones. He had is gallbladder removed. 10 days later he aspirated some food into his lungs and ended up back in the hospital. Thankfully he was ok after each of these things. I honestly held my breath in April waiting for something bad to happen. May was a little easier to be optimistic and June has been good.
All of this has made me wonder why is my ability to handle EVERYTHING being put to the test so much this year? Did I do something to make God think he needed to test me a BUNCH this year? Yes I know, God doesn’t put anything in front of you that you can’t overcome somehow. And that you should learn from each of these tests.
Of course I have learned some really important things. While my brothers and I might not have had the best relationship with my father, he had some truly wonderful friendships and touched a lot of people in a very positive way. My brothers are both wonderful guys who will do whatever is needed to help out. Their wives are great also.
My husband of only a few months is THE BEST MAN EVER. I knew I loved him when I married him. I knew he loved me also. I didn’t realize the depth of that love for him or him for me. It is amazing and wonderful.
I have also come to know that even when you do everything right with a kid, they will make up their own minds. You can put them in a bubble and keep the world out. You can teach them right from wrong, and they might still choose wrong. And it’s all ok. I am not a bad parent because of her choices. I have given her the right tools, she needs to use them. And she seems to be doing just that. No more drinking, drugs or sex. The grades are slowly getting better.
I think the biggest thing that I have learned is that what I thought was the end of my rope, that point when I wouldn’t be able to take anymore, isn’t where I thought it was. I hope that I don’t find the end of my rope.
In the midst of all of that it comes to light that my teenage daughter has had a total melt-down. She had started doing drugs, drinking, having sex and failing her classes in school. To top it off, my ex-husband was called to active duty with the Army Reserves. Thankfully he didn’t get sent out of country, only to NJ for the next 1-2 years. My teenage son decided that he wanted to go with him.
Just as things seem to be settling down toward the end of March, B ended up in the hospital with gallstones. He had is gallbladder removed. 10 days later he aspirated some food into his lungs and ended up back in the hospital. Thankfully he was ok after each of these things. I honestly held my breath in April waiting for something bad to happen. May was a little easier to be optimistic and June has been good.
All of this has made me wonder why is my ability to handle EVERYTHING being put to the test so much this year? Did I do something to make God think he needed to test me a BUNCH this year? Yes I know, God doesn’t put anything in front of you that you can’t overcome somehow. And that you should learn from each of these tests.
Of course I have learned some really important things. While my brothers and I might not have had the best relationship with my father, he had some truly wonderful friendships and touched a lot of people in a very positive way. My brothers are both wonderful guys who will do whatever is needed to help out. Their wives are great also.
My husband of only a few months is THE BEST MAN EVER. I knew I loved him when I married him. I knew he loved me also. I didn’t realize the depth of that love for him or him for me. It is amazing and wonderful.
I have also come to know that even when you do everything right with a kid, they will make up their own minds. You can put them in a bubble and keep the world out. You can teach them right from wrong, and they might still choose wrong. And it’s all ok. I am not a bad parent because of her choices. I have given her the right tools, she needs to use them. And she seems to be doing just that. No more drinking, drugs or sex. The grades are slowly getting better.
I think the biggest thing that I have learned is that what I thought was the end of my rope, that point when I wouldn’t be able to take anymore, isn’t where I thought it was. I hope that I don’t find the end of my rope.
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